Body Language Experts Analyze Princess Diana and Kate Middleton as Moms


Both women bend down to be at the same level as their children. "This is one way that parents show their children that they're equals," Patti Wood, body language expert and author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, told GoodHousekeeping.com. "We see this with Princess Diana and Kate Middleton, as well as with Prince William."










Kate Middleton with Prince George in Canada

Here is the link to the full articcle. B


Kate and Diana as Mothers. 


Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.     

How Do You Recover From Abusing Someone? How Do You Give a Real Apology?

I speak on conflict management, bullying and sexual harassment and part of that work emphasizes healing work and proper apologies. When the abuser admits they did harm and asks what they can do. .
The article below is powerful in showing the hurt that is caused to the abuse victim when the abuser gives a false apology. It is also interesting in showing how a tribe (the church members) can accept bad behavior in a tribes leader (one of their ministers.) The tribal members think they are being good christians to forgive him, but they overlooked the fact that it was a false apology.

Abusers can continue to abuse they can deny they abused, forget or distort the full truth of their abuses or they can choose to heal learn and grow! It would have to be a very safe healing place.
"To have him listen to me was almost the most important thing for me. And it was part of him being accountable and taking responsibility. It was so satisfying ... to have the person who hurt you sit there and listen to you and not blame you for it and admit to what they did, and to remember some of the abuse. Even though Steve didn't remember a lot of it in our first conversations, he started to remember."

https://www.npr.org/2018/01/09/576798813/for-the-men-metoo-has-toppled-redemption-will-take-more-than-an-apology?utm_campaign=storyshare&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social
Restorative justice!

Interesting that this happened. Then people outside the church, not in the tribe reacted that he had not acted properly and he eventually did step down.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

7 Charming Habits that are Actually Manipulative

Here is a link to an article I did for Bustle on manipulative behaviors.

I speak on how to deal with difficult people including extreme malignant narcissists.
You've probably heard that when someone mirrors you or matches your behavior, that's a pretty good sign they like you more than you think. As Patti Wood, M.A., body language expert and author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charismatells Bustle, "Matching and mirroring are normal behaviors for people that like and trust each other."
While it's something that should happen naturally, manipulative people will take it over the top. If you reach for something at the same time, they'll smile, and explicitly comment on how well-matched the two of you are. As Wood says, narcissists in particular do that in order to create a connection. After some time, they'll stop, leaving the other person to feel devalued and wondering what happened. If you notice this happening to you, just take a step back and collect yourself. Ask yourself if this person really is worth you questioning your own self-esteem.
Find More at the link to the full article. 7 Charming Habits that are Actually Manipulative

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

The Gifts I Gain From Being a Speaker, and what you can do before a presentation to be open hearted in my speeches.

I am very clear as a speaker that when I go to speak that it’s about serving my audience. I am there as a to serve, to aid in their growth, facilitate a connection and unique experience, to be of use. 

When I give a presentation I ask the universe, God, all that is good to help me be a conduit. I ask well beyond a corporate customization, using the nonverbal cues from the group and more "What does this group need to hear?" and I request that if someone in the audience needs to hear something special that can help them that I say it. I have been doing this my entire career. I know many speakers and musicians do this. It helps us stay open hearted. For me Its led to beautiful experiences. 

For me It’s been pretty much a secret to others that I do this until now. Of course I don't mention God in my speeches, but I haven't really talked about this important blessed ritual that is such an important part of my speaking. But, I think its time to share my pre-speech requests because it may serve you in any work that you do to help you see to the hearts of others and because in the past few months I have had so many many people share their stories with me that they heard exactly what they needed to hear. At times, there is a line of them when I finish speaking, sometimes tearing up as they share their stories. I am just so darn grateful.

I realized a few months ago God was giving me a double make that triple bang for my buck. In answer to my pre program requests and also the prayers the last few months to please get me through the hardest time in my life. I see each week when I speak that my brokenness is here for a reason, my internal strength is there for a reason and that the gift of these people sharing their stories is here as well to tell me all will be well, that I am in the right path, that I have more to do. 

To my speaker and musician friends - I know you have experienced audience members saying you said and/or sang what they need to hear and oh my goodness aren’t we blessed? 

And for all of us, we can start each day with the requests to hear and see into peoples hearts.. 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language Insights Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook's Testimony Before the Senate. Apology

This is a body language read I did for the Dow Jones news publication Moneyish. 

Mark-zuckerbergs-body-language-during-his-senate-testimony-tells-us/

Here are my rough notes of my read including an analysis of his apology!

Body Language and apology analysis of  Mark Zuckerberg‘s testimony before Congress today for the meeting .
Forgive my voice to text these are my rough notes as I analyze Mark Zuckerberg‘s nonverbal cues during his testimony today.
I went back and watched his very first media interview where actually he seemed incredibly calm and slightly cocky especially as he talked about how users could enter their personal information at that time he thought sharing private information was the best aspect of the Facebook platform. It was quite dramatic how excited he was about that. Remember he thought it would help people find people to engage with socially and intellectually.
Fast forward to an interview several years ago and you start to see mouth window cues that show his anxiety in responding to certain questions about what Facebook does and about its privacy. In this interview he does what I have labelled tongue cleanses after he speaks. He sticks out his tongue and cleanses it with his teeth to show he’s not happy with what he just shared and that sometimes can be an indication that what he just said was not fully truthful. You also see him sweat in these more high stress interviews. And you start seeing him do a masking smile which actually looks like a grimace as he finishes sentences. The masking smile at the end of sentences indicates he’s not sure what he said is going down well. And just like the tongue cleanse it could be an indication that he doesn’t fully believe what he is saying they are scripted responses.
In the actual testimony before congress, I think what’s most interesting is that he’s even doing anxiety cues as he makes positive statements for example when he talks about growth he’s doing a masking smile so he’s not even sure as he says positive statements about his company whether Congress and the viewers are going to think that growth is a positive thing ... that’s interesting to me. The confidence in that first interview that I watched is gone today.

You may think he appears calm, but in his micro facial cues he shows extreme nervousness in the first hour of his testimony before the senate. I see an interesting mixture of anxiety and a little bit of anger. It seems the statements where he is showing anger or about what has happened that’s changed his worldview that others took the data and did bad things with it. It’s clear from his nonverbal cues as he talks about this that it makes him angry.
If you watch his nonverbal cues as he’s been introduced you’ll note that he looks down quite a bit. He actually looking towards his notes. This is a common nervousness cue that I coach my presentation, media and testamoney coachign cleints NOT to do. It happens when someone is nervous as people attach themselves to their notes when they are afraid of saying something wrong and or they are afraid they won't remember the right, prepared talking pointn.
He is also looking down a little bit in embarrassment as well. He is clearly uncomfortable.
You can see that anxiety in the tension around his mouth he gives a thin straight line trying to suppress his anxiety but the fact that his face is not relaxed and the lips aren’t turned up at the end slightly and a normal relaxed resting face indicate is his anxiety and fear.
Let me tell you what was interesting about his actual apology statement. I have a chapter in one of my books on how to give a proper apology and I read the nonverbal cues, and do content analysis of apology statements quite frequently for the media and I have been doing so for years. As you might guess
what I typically see is a "I have been caught, now I have to pretend I'm am sorry fake apology." Here Mark Zukerberg was honest. I see and hear a true apology. He gives an not just a proper apology statement but does so in a sincere painful to watch manner.
I coach my clients in situations that creepy fake apologies are worse than keeping quiet. What are some of the criteria for a true apology. First you need to say that your sorry for having done the deed. (Not the old, "I am sorry that you feel bad about what I did."
Zuckerberg says, "I’m sorry." and then he takes full responsibility even making the statement, "I own the company I am responsible for what happened.." and goes on to give details about what he did wrong. So his verbal communication his words lone are remarkable because they do with most people don’t do when they make apology statements!
Non verbally you can actually hear a break in his voice as he apologizes that para language. That is very difficult to fake. A consummate actor could do that, (he is not a consummate actor.)
You can't coach people to feel real pain. Here is something else that is unusual. He slows down slightly as he gives his apology statement is normal baseline communication is typically to give a very fast delivery inside of a sentence in this case he’s slows down his pace in the sentence. This pacing differance was proably coached. This is something I have actually coached my cleints to do.
But here is what you cant coach. Sincerity. The apology was effective. I think it immediately made people like him more. Again. He really did feel pain at what had happened and pain at his responsibility for it.
He had a lot of trouble making eye contact with his questionnaire in the first hour of his testimony. Something that is critical to making your answers sound real honest and conversational. I spend a lot of time in media and expert witness coaching working with clients on this. He eventually got that important turn taking down. Coaches often coach their clients to sip water or beverage to gain time and think of your answer and to simply calm down. But that can backfire on you as it did for Bill Clinton in the Monica Lewinski questioning. Its just plain akward being the only one drinking and having cameras record it. That has to be practiced over and over if your going to use that technique to gather your thoughts. It backfired on Zukerberg.
Though he has a lack of general affect that makes him look a bit like Data, his answers made him look so much more intelligent than most of the ill prepared senators.  He eventually began to look like the most credible person in the room! Even as he evaded direct questions! So interesting. 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     Here's What Mark Zukerberg's Body Language During his Senate Testimony Tell Us.